Self-motivation

As my time in Ethiopia dwindles down, I've been taking a closer look at my service thus far. I was with a friend this past week and due to the events that took place, or should I say lack of events, I came to realize that as PCVs we are constantly having to motivate ourselves and a big chunk of my service has been me motivating myself. Let me explain.

Self motivation as a PCV is constant. How did I come to think about this profoundly? Well this week, my friend and I were all set to get some work done. As COS (Close of Service) approaches most of us are thinking about our next step. It may be graduate school, applying to jobs, working on our resumes/CVs, reaching out to connections back home, etc. Safe to say I have plenty I should be doing. I didn't have any programs scheduled at my school on that particular day, so the two of us were all set to go down to the hotel and get some work done with the hotel's wifi. It was extremely hot, but we faced the heat. Of course the internet wasn't working. With sweat starting to come down my face, we tried the other places in town. Four places later, nothing was working. We then said we'd go ahead and do some errands. I had to go to the post office. It was 2:30pm and closed. I couldn't tell you why. I guess an extra long lunch break? Then we had to go to the bank. The network was down so we couldn't get our money. We thought we'd stop to get a bite to eat. We were craving inkulal siga (scrambled eggs with meat on injera). They didn't have what we wanted so we just went next door and had some avocado juice. Pretty delicious too but it wasn't what we set out wanting. All this is to point out that throughout my service, just because I wake up in the morning all set and ready with a list of tasks to accomplish, no matter how simple the task, such as going to the bank to withdraw funds, there's a good chance I won't get through those tasks. You just have to know that going in. PCVs have to be incredibly flexible. If not we are setting ourselves up to endless disappointments and frustrations.

It gets hard having to always motivate yourself. No one is pushing you. You have to do it all on your own. For the most minute things too, such as going to the post office. On that day when we set out to the hotel, we came back after a two hour excursion with nothing to show for it. I wanted to work. I wanted to get some concrete research done, but because of forces out of my control I couldn't. It can get pretty discouraging because this isn't something that happens once in a while. This happens ALL THE TIME. I've had to learn to be unbelievably patient because nothing ever turns out the way you hope. There's only so much you can do. I can't make the internet work. I was ready to do job research but then I couldn't. So then what's left to do but go home and read a book. You can easily get discouraged. You have to continue to self-motivate. Every day. It's so easy to feel defeated. All this to show that as a PCV you set out to accomplish certain tasks, yet there's a good chance none of it will get done. That's why when something good does happen, when you get a success, no matter how small, you really have to hold on to it and celebrate it.

In the beginning I think I was easily discouraged and frustrated by this. But as the months have gone, I've become pretty flexible and patient and when things don't go the way I planned I just try again the following day and occupy my day by doing something else. It's hard, but I think all of us are learning how to work in all kinds of environments.