It's All Over

As my COS (close of service) date approaches I've been thinking a lot about what I want my final blog to sound like. I had this idea that it would be some beautiful last post on all the things I got out of Ethiopia, the lessons I had learned, the people and the experiences that would stay with me forever. But as I arrive into my final days in Butajira I'm at a loss of words and instead of words I'm filled with immense sadness and anxiety. My mind is blank. I don't know what to say because I can't believe this is over. I can't believe I'm actually leaving Ethiopia. I never really thought this day would be here. Reaching COS always seemed so exciting, but now that I've actually arrived at this point, just a handful of days away from it, I'm so incredibly sad. Don't get me wrong, reaching COS is definitely exciting. More than anything I'm so proud of myself for having lived here for 2 years. But now that I'm actually packing up my house and realizing that this all of this is real, that excitement is turning into anxiety. As I go around fulfilling my daily tasks the voice in my head reminds me "this is the last time you'll ever walk to school," "only 5 more mornings, 4 more mornings, 3 more mornings … of going across the street to the suuk for fresh bread," or "this was your last bayenet at Mamush" and when once I had thought I would be looking forward to those countdowns, now that they're here I'm scared. I'm scared of not having this routine anymore. This routine that has become my daily comfort, my life. I'm scared of the coming days when I will have to say goodbye to my host family. To my neighbors and friends. How do you say goodbye to people you will probably never see again? How do you say goodbye to a life that will seize to exist after 5 days?

I'm going to do my best to make this the final farewell I had envisioned.

These last 2 years have been the hardest of my 24. That being said they have also been the most rewarding. I cannot imagine my life today if I had never joined the Peace Corps. I remember first coming upon the Peace Corps at a career fair at UT. I was immediately drawn to serving. I had always wanted to go to Africa, but not as a tourist. I wanted to live in Africa and truly experience how that part of the world lives. For a while I had been doing some research on options I had for going across the Atlantic. 3 months after that career fair I sent my application to the Peace Corps and 9 months later I received my invitation to serve in Ethiopia. I remember opening that email and crying. I was so happy and proud. I had actually been accepted into the Peace Corps. 2 years later I can't believe this part of my life is over.

What's the biggest, most important thing I've learned after 2 years? Looking back on the work I did and the people I met, all the wonderful and horrible experiences I went through, the relationships I formed are what will stay with me.

"Peace requires the simple but powerful recognition that what we have in common as human beings is more important and crucial than what divides us" - Sargent Shriver

I couldn't agree more and this quote couldn't be more true that what I've learned in Ethiopia. Missing America and my friends and family, I learned how important culture was and how hard it was to be away from it early on into my service. But Ethiopia has taught me that no matter how different our cultures, backgrounds, and histories make us, at the end of the day we are all human. I was able to connect on a powerful, emotional level with several Ethiopians. I consider that my biggest success. I made a family here. The relationship I have with my best friend here is the same as the friendships I have back home. We have gotten past our differences as American and Ethiopian and used that to learn more about one another and become closer. A couple of days ago she came over my house and we had a 2 hour conversation, just as I would with my American friends back home. When I go have lunch with my host family I feel at home. I'm so comfortable. My Ethiopian mother kisses me and hugs me as my own Mom does. When I told her my COS date she told me she wanted me to come back to Ethiopia when I start having children so she can meet them. A couple of months ago my host father gave me some advice on finding the "ideal" partner in life. Even though I disagreed with just about everything he was saying, I felt extremely loved. He was talking to me like a father talks to his daughter. He was giving me this advice because he truly cares about me. This last week my school held a coffee ceremony for me. The director of my school (the closest person I have been to in the work place) was in Hawassa taking some summer courses at the college so I didn't expect to see him, however the teachers called him to tell him they were having a goodbye ceremony for me and he surprised me by showing up. So after reminding myself of all these beautiful moments and so many more in my service, how could I ever leave without thinking I wasn't successful? I was able to really connect with people from completely different backgrounds and histories than me. I find that truly beautiful.

So how do I say goodbye to this life?

By taking all those memories with me, into the next chapter of my life. I just hope the next 2 years are as exciting as these last 2. I'm going to remember the wonderful people that I met, the relationships and bonds I formed. I will never forget this country. Ethiopia will forever be close to my heart. 

Camp GLOW, Wondo Genet 2015

I just arrived back from camp GLOW (Guys & Girls Leading Our World) in Wondo Genet. Wondo Genet is about 30 minutes outside of Hawassa. Volunteers set up these summer camps for students in several Peace Corps countries. The camps we put together in Ethiopia are regional. Our camp in the South was made up of 15 PCVs, 10 Ethiopian counterparts and 30 high school students. Since I don't work with the high school in my town I brought my host sister Etsub and my landlord's son Kirubel. I was really happy I brought them. They've both been an important part of my service so it was wonderful getting to spend this quality time with them. Inviting them to camp was also a way for me to show them how much I appreciate the help they've given me while I've been here.

We left Butajira Monday morning and headed to Hawassa where a bus awaited all the camp members to take us to the agriculture campus in Wondo Genet where our camp was held. We took over 2 rooms for our sessions. The sleeping arrangement was dorm style. There were 6 bunks in each room and shared bathrooms for everyone. The bathrooms were pretty awful, but after living here 2 years it's funny the things that become normal and the things that you don't mind so much (such as half rusted doors to holes in the ground you're forced to go to the bathroom in and horrific smells). I wasn't thrilled having to sleep 6 to a room but it actually turned out to be kind of fun. We slept in sleeping bags on pretty uncomfortable and old pillows. It was only 4 nights though and I got to spend that time getting to know volunteers from other groups and of course spending the nights with my favorite G9s.

Camp went from 7am to 10pm for 3 days. Camp sessions were focused on gender equality, sexual health, leadership, and goal-setting. I led the session on goal-setting and was happy with the overall flow of it. The students put effort into the activity I asked them to do and seemed happy with it. 

For our last night at camp we had a candlelight ceremony. We were all standing around the bonfire, each one of us holding a candle. We each went around and said what our favorite part of camp was. One of my favorite parts, and something I also saw at the AGE Summit, was the difference in the students from day one to the last day. In the beginning none of them know each other. They come from all different towns throughout SNNPR. They are quiet and unsure of themselves. By the end of camp though they were all active and had made friends. Some of them cried during the candlelit ceremony and it was hard for them to say goodbye. One of the prizes they received was a notebook from the States. They started using them to write notes to one another to remember one another by. The whole things was pretty cute. Students kept coming up to me asking me to write them a personal note in their books. Personally, I loved getting to spend this last time with the students I brought, but Etsub and Kirubel aren't just students I took to camp. They are my brother and sister. So being with them during camp, seeing them excited to make friends, was a perfect last memory to leave Ethiopia with. Getting to spend time with my fellow PCVs was also wonderful. There are some truly amazing people in the PC. And the great thing about camp is we come together from different groups (G7 - G12) and work together to put on this camp for our kids.

I have 2 weeks left in Ethiopia but it has yet to feel like I'm leaving. Before we headed back to Butajira we stopped in Hawassa for some juice. As I started hugging all the PCVs before heading to the bus station I realized this was the last time I would see any of these people and the last time I would ever be sitting in this café, my favorite  in Hawassa. It was really sad saying goodbye and walking away as all these PCVs were  still there. I finally realized that I was going home and this community that exists among PCVs I will never have again. There's a shared bond between PCVs. We're all very different and we may not always get along, but we have a shared experience that we don't need to explain to one another. We understand each other and I'm starting to understand that this part of my life is almost over and I'm about to leave this beautiful community. As I start to go through my things, cleaning my house, and packing my luggage, I'm getting nervous about saying goodbye to the friends and family I've made in Ethiopia and I'm getting emotional about leaving my house and the home I have created.

Lalibela

Ben Abeba restaurant

After getting through all of my medical appointments with the Peace Corps doctors, another PCV and I traveled to Lalibela, located in the north in the Amhara region. Lalibela is famous for its rock-hewn churches. We had contemplated busing up to the town, but on learning that the trip took 2 days we decided to splurge a bit and fly. As residents we get local prices on Ethiopian airline flights. It's still expensive on our meager Peace Corps salaries, but it's much better than the rate foreigners get.

Lalibela is a small town nestled high in the mountains of Lasta, at an altitude of 2,630m. This was the first time I had ever been north of Addis. The scenery looked completely different than what I was used to in the south. Down here it's very green. I'm in a valley and even though I'm also surrounded by mountains, those mountains are covered with trees and nature. So when I saw the mountains of Lalibela they looked very different than what I am used to. It's so dry in the north. It was still beautiful of course, but it wasn't what I was expecting. A top tourist destination for Ethiopia, the town of Lalibela itself is surprisingly small.

Ben Abeba restaurant. It's not very clear with
all the clouds, but hopefully you get an idea
of it.

On arriving into town and checking into our hotel (located next to a brothel I might add, not an unlikely situation as PCVs who need to keep a tight budget), we headed to the tourist office to pay for our tickets to visit the churches the following day. We decided to have dinner at a highly recommended restaurant, Ben Abeba. The architecture of this restaurant was really cool. I don't quite know how to describe the building so I've added a picture. We were literally on the top of a mountain, overlooking the valley far below. It was really, really cool and we ended up going back for breakfast the next day and for dinner again. The area was just too peaceful and as PCVs, a little peace and quiet goes a long way after constantly being the center of attention. Sometimes you just want to eat a meal without everyone staring at you and talking about you.

Another view from Ben Abeba.

The view from Ben Abeba restaurant

The next day we visited the churches. I remember learning about these churches in one of my religious studies classes back at UT. The Lalibela churches are carved below ground level and are ringed by trenches and courtyards. The sides are cut into with stone graves and hermit cells and connected together in a maze of tunnels and passages. At one of the churches we were able to see inside one of these graves. Each church has its own unique shape. As they were 800 years ago, these churches continue to be an active shrine for the people of Lalibela. We saw people covered in white (in the Ethiopian Orthodox religion, men and women wrap themselves in a white cloth know as a netella, or the thicker one known as a gabi, when they go to church) going in and out of these churches. We visited many churches, but the most majestic one was Bet Giyorgis. This church is isolated while the others are clustered together in two groups. Bet Giyorgis is excavated below ground and is almost 15m deep. It's pretty incredible. This church is also carved in the shape of a symmetrical cruciform tower. All in all I'm so glad I had the opportunity to visit Lalibela. It was great getting to see another part of the country and learn more about its religious history. 

Bet Giyorgis

Bet Giyorgis

One of the other churches we visited

One of the many trenches around the churches

Close of Service (COS) Conference

I just arrived back to site after about three weeks away. A good chunk of that time was spent at my group's (G9) COS conference and then in Addis Ababa to complete medical clearance. COS conference is probably the one conference that volunteers dream about since the day they arrive in country. It always seemed so far away, like I would never be able to reach it. But I did. It came and went. Arriving at this conference means you completed your 2 years. Of course you have a couple months left afterwards to finish your service, but once you've arrived at this point you know you did it. You feel like you've accomplished something. I think it was a pretty proud moment for all of us in G9.

We all arrived in Addis on Sunday May 31st, and began the conference the following day. I was able to meet up with people I hadn't seen since last September. We don't often get to see one another and when I do see another volunteer it's usually someone from my region. After a half day of sessions the bus arrived and took us down to Lake Langano, about 4 hours south of Addis. Peace Corps really did well for this conference. They put us up in a beautiful resort. We were 4 PCVs to a bungalow. There was a pool and a wide outdoor area for us to make a campfire at night. The lake was gorgeous. We had some wonderful weather and of course the food was delicious. Also I'm pretty sure we were the only ones staying at the resort seeing as how Ethiopia is getting into low season so we pretty much had the place to ourselves.

The next 2 days were spent basically celebrating us. Everyone was in a great mood.  It was wonderful and beautiful and there were tears. To put in simple terms, it was bittersweet. The sweetness comes because we're happy to have made it 2 years. 2 years that were not easy. We've been pushed in more ways than one. We've had to deal with things we would never encounter back home and we made it out. The end is in site for all of us now and we're ready to be home. Though at the same time it's bitter. This life that we've created for ourselves in our individual sites is over. Being a part of our Peace Corps community is over. And no matter how much we may complain about it sometimes it's going to be hard to leave that environment. This has become our home. So yeah, there were quite a few tears. We've also been able to see the changes in one another over the past 2 years. We're not really different than we were. We're still us, but I think a lot of us have grown and matured. If anything we're all stronger, braver, and more confident. Since our conference I'd been trying to figure out how to explain the change I feel in myself because I don't think that change will be so apparent when I go home.  I mean, I'm still me. But as another PCV put it, we've gotten rid of a lot of bullshit in our lives. Any crap we were carrying around we've learned to let go. The drama, the bullshit, the pettiness, it's all a waste of energy. I think we've realized what's most important in life.  I've learned to follow my instincts and to trust myself. I want to surround myself with people who make me happy, who make me feel good, who help me grow and learn. I've learned to focus on the positive relationships in my life and get rid of the negative ones. And PC has allowed us to realize the kind of people we want to be. Where we want to go. Even if we may not know exactly what that is or what that future looks like, we have a better idea of the kind of people we want to become.

By best friends in Ethiopia, Delia and Jaynice.

Moving on from that, the conference wasn't just one big party as it might seem. We also had sessions, but these felt less intense than what we've been used to since arriving in Ethiopia. We went over some of our accomplishments in the last 2 years and then discussed our options and the opportunities we have after our service is over. I was kind of nervous about getting to COS conference and hearing that everyone knew what they would be doing when they stepped foot in the States. Contrary to what I had imagined, the majority of us are in the same boat. Most of us don't know what we're doing next and are going home to live with our parents. Even though it is nice to have a plan, I think Peace Corps has taught me not to worry so much about what's next and to focus on the present. I should focus on the things I can control and then take the opportunities as they come along. Because when you have it all figured out and planned for the next several years you might miss out on some great opportunities. One of my favorite professors at UT once gave me similar advice. I've followed it and it's worked thus far. I'm trying to remember that and keep an open mind about what's next for me. It's a bit scary not knowing what's on the other side. All I know right now is I want to go home and spend time with my family and friends. I don't want to jump into a job right away. And if I'm being honest I don't think I'm ready for that. I'm going to need some time to reintegrate and readjust to life in America and put meaning into my time into Ethiopia. 

Remembering Papy

Two years ago today, June 22nd 2013, my grandfather passed away. It was the first time I had ever dealt with the death of a loved one. It also came a week before I was to leave for Ethiopia. I still hadn't completely moved out of my apartment, I hadn't bought everything on my list, I had yet to start packing and say my goodbyes, and then my father called me to tell me Papy had passed away. Death never comes at a good time, and this felt like the worst time.

As my grandparents started getting older and they befell to various illnesses I had always told myself that if anything happened, if life suddenly stopped for them, I would make it back to France. And then Papy died and it was impossible for me to go to the funeral. I felt tremendous guilt and hatred at myself. I felt like a liar. I was so lost and questioned if going to Ethiopia was right at the moment. I know for my parents and my sister this was such a difficult time. My parents were trying to mentally prepare for my departure when Papy left and my sister was in France standing with my family being the amazing support that none of us could be from so far away. That last week was terrible. Since having accepted my invitation to serve in Ethiopia I had been imagining what my last week would be in America. I had all these ideas and plans on what I would do, what I would eat, who I would see. Most of that didn't happen. There was so much to do in so little time. I remember saying goodbye to my friends, but I was in a kind of haze because deep down I was only thinking about Papy and the fact that I would never get to see him again. I felt such enormous guilt at not being close to my grandmother, my dad, and my aunt to support them and be there for them during this difficult time. Ethiopia was the last place I wanted to be and I left for Ethiopia without having grieved for Papy's death.

Somehow I made it here though. I remember talking to one of my close friends during that last week. I didn't know if I should still leave for the Peace Corps. She said something to me that I never forgot. Yes his passing was awful and sad, but now he would get to see me in Ethiopia. He would follow me on my journey and he would be watching me.  He would be looking down on me and would see me do all the things I was going to accomplish in Ethiopia and he would be proud.

That stayed with me and helped me get on that plane. I remember thinking about Papy throughout my entire pre-service training. It was hard because I had to deal with his death in bits and pieces. We were so busy during our 3 months of training I didn't have time to think about it. I remember sessions when he would suddenly appear in my mind and I would want to cry, but I immediately had to shut it off because I was in the middle of a session. We had technical sessions and hours of language classes and cultural integration with our host families and so much more that we had to give 100% to all the time. I never got to fully grieve until after our training and I had been at site for a few weeks. I don't think I completely forgave myself for not being present at his funeral for months. But throughout it all I always remembered what my friend said, Papy would get to see me on my journey.

There is one place in Butajira that I always associate with my grandfather because it was the one place during our training that I got a few minutes of peace and quiet. And each time I was alone he would appear in my mind. It's the gorge in kebele 01 where my host family lived. It's an enormous gorge, a perfect example of Ethiopia's rift valley. And it's so beautiful and gorgeous and immense. Each time I see it I remember sitting at the very top, looking down, and thinking of my grandfather. I was so sad than. But I go to the gorge now and I don't see it as a place of sorrow. It's a place of serenity and peacefulness and a reminder to me that no matter how tough a situation seems and impossible to get through, it does get better. Papy left his mark on Ethiopia, at the gorge.

Thinking about Papy's life and replaying the stories in my mind that family members had told me of his life helped me get through his passing and helped me serve in Ethiopia. The things he had done and the things he had been through at such a young age. The bravery he showed and his humbleness. The courage he had to always stand for what he knew was right. Because I remember thinking that if he could do all that he had done in his life, the least I could do was live in Ethiopia for 2 years. His strength helped me be a stronger person. My Papy is someone to remember.

As I arrive at my 2 year mark I look back at that time before I left and remember all the pain and anguish in our family. Then I look at how we all got through it, how our family came together. From separate continents we supported and loved each other. We cried together. I learned that no matter how much I may argue with my family sometimes, during the tough stuff we are one and we are there for each other.

Because my grandfather left us right before I came to Ethiopia he will always be in some way a part of my experience here. He was part of my process here, of my journey. He helped me get through all the good and the bad. In turn Ethiopia allowed me to grieve and deal with his death. I think it took a few months, but I never forgot him throughout all of this. I made it to the end. Papy was there with me at the beginning and he is here with me today.   

Je t'aime Papy

A Success Story

My group's COS conference is coming up next week. We've got a bunch of paperwork to fill out and things to do before our first session. For one of our assignments Peace Corps wants us to write a success story from our service. This can be anything from work to community integration. I chose a story from school and I thought I would share on my blog. 

Enjoy!

From Butajira Ethiopia

A Peace Corps success story

Helena Chevallier, G9 education 2013-2015

One of my fondest memories from my Peace Corps service has been the progress I have made with my grades 5 & 6 English club. This club was by far the most unorganized, in terms of logistics. My first year I had tried to get this club started but was having a difficult time getting the English teacher to help me. I tried again my second year but it was the same situation.

When I started getting random students from grades 5 and 6 coming to my classroom during their free time I took the initiative and told those students about English club. I thought, “To hell with it. If the teachers aren’t going to help, I’m just going to do it myself.” I explained to the students when they should come back and on what days. These students are not formerly registered, like the ones for my grades 7 & 8 club. (I had a teacher to help me facilitate that one in the beginning of the school year making it “organized”). Even though this club (grades 5 & 6) was much less organized, it had been the highlight of each week. I had the same eight students that came week in and week out. They were always so eager and excited for club. Much more than the club I run for the older students. These younger students were always on time and ready to go. When I first started my service I would have thought having only eight students was a huge failure. Over time though I’ve learned that it’s not the numbers that matter. I had eight students that loved my club and that was enough.

I'm not going to lie. I definitely had days when I felt unmotivated and really uninterested in doing club. Dreading the walk, I somehow always made my way to the school though. Whenever I started sessions with this club in particular my mood always lifted. These eight students were always able to turn a bad day upside down. So why do I consider this group of students to be my “success”? It’s hard to explain, but I’m going to try.

The English level of most of these students is quite low and with my limited Amharic skills it could be quite difficult sometimes, but they were always so patient. And that in turn allowed me to be patient. They really did their best to listen to what I said and we learned to all work together so that everyone understood their tasks. In my last couple of months I gave them activities where they had to be more creative. With the language barrier this was not a simple task. But I took my time explaining the lessons and activities to them. When I would first give them a task that they were not used to they would look at me like I was crazy and they had no idea what I was asking them to do.

I've thought of this a lot and I think it's because the things I asked them to do, no one had ever asked of them before. For example, on one of our last meetings I had them imagine their lives after 10 years. I asked them specific questions about what they saw for their futures and asked them to draw the life they saw for themselves. To understand this concept I really had to break it down and go through this one step at a time. But as I saw them process their assignment and what I was telling them to do, I could tell this was something they had never thought of before. And when it finally clicked in their minds, what it was that I wanted them to do, they got to it immediately and came up with some great drawings. Seeing that "aha" moment on their faces is what did it for me. They were so excited to use the markers, make their drawings, and then describe it to the class. They were so happy. That's what made this club so successful for me. In the beginning they were very unsure of me. Over the months we had together though, they became much more comfortable. All of them always came to our meetings on time and ready to go, no matter how much they didn’t understand or how long it took them to understand. That never stopped them from coming to our sessions.

I allowed and gave the students the time they needed to understand and I was patient with them. I let them think about what I was saying and made sure they were always all on the same page and in the end I realized the students really appreciated that. If they didn’t they wouldn’t have kept coming. I don’t think they are often given that one on one attention. Not like what I give them. That’s what made this club difficult at first. They didn’t understand what I was doing. I spent time with them individually and if they didn’t understand I didn’t let them shrug it off. I sat with them at their level and made sure they got it. I think they appreciated that and that’s what made this club so successful. Seeing them happy made me so happy. They just wanted to spend time with me and learn with me.

These students showed me that if you give kids the little push and attention that they need, they can do so much with it. They will always be an important part of my time in Ethiopia and the memories I made with them will stay with me forever. 

Self-motivation

As my time in Ethiopia dwindles down, I've been taking a closer look at my service thus far. I was with a friend this past week and due to the events that took place, or should I say lack of events, I came to realize that as PCVs we are constantly having to motivate ourselves and a big chunk of my service has been me motivating myself. Let me explain.

Self motivation as a PCV is constant. How did I come to think about this profoundly? Well this week, my friend and I were all set to get some work done. As COS (Close of Service) approaches most of us are thinking about our next step. It may be graduate school, applying to jobs, working on our resumes/CVs, reaching out to connections back home, etc. Safe to say I have plenty I should be doing. I didn't have any programs scheduled at my school on that particular day, so the two of us were all set to go down to the hotel and get some work done with the hotel's wifi. It was extremely hot, but we faced the heat. Of course the internet wasn't working. With sweat starting to come down my face, we tried the other places in town. Four places later, nothing was working. We then said we'd go ahead and do some errands. I had to go to the post office. It was 2:30pm and closed. I couldn't tell you why. I guess an extra long lunch break? Then we had to go to the bank. The network was down so we couldn't get our money. We thought we'd stop to get a bite to eat. We were craving inkulal siga (scrambled eggs with meat on injera). They didn't have what we wanted so we just went next door and had some avocado juice. Pretty delicious too but it wasn't what we set out wanting. All this is to point out that throughout my service, just because I wake up in the morning all set and ready with a list of tasks to accomplish, no matter how simple the task, such as going to the bank to withdraw funds, there's a good chance I won't get through those tasks. You just have to know that going in. PCVs have to be incredibly flexible. If not we are setting ourselves up to endless disappointments and frustrations.

It gets hard having to always motivate yourself. No one is pushing you. You have to do it all on your own. For the most minute things too, such as going to the post office. On that day when we set out to the hotel, we came back after a two hour excursion with nothing to show for it. I wanted to work. I wanted to get some concrete research done, but because of forces out of my control I couldn't. It can get pretty discouraging because this isn't something that happens once in a while. This happens ALL THE TIME. I've had to learn to be unbelievably patient because nothing ever turns out the way you hope. There's only so much you can do. I can't make the internet work. I was ready to do job research but then I couldn't. So then what's left to do but go home and read a book. You can easily get discouraged. You have to continue to self-motivate. Every day. It's so easy to feel defeated. All this to show that as a PCV you set out to accomplish certain tasks, yet there's a good chance none of it will get done. That's why when something good does happen, when you get a success, no matter how small, you really have to hold on to it and celebrate it.

In the beginning I think I was easily discouraged and frustrated by this. But as the months have gone, I've become pretty flexible and patient and when things don't go the way I planned I just try again the following day and occupy my day by doing something else. It's hard, but I think all of us are learning how to work in all kinds of environments.    

Fasika

This post is a bit late seeing as how Fasika (Ethiopia Easter) was celebrated on April 12th. Better late than never though.

I was super excited about Fasika this year. Maybe because I hadn't had doro wat (chicken stew - the best dish in Ethiopia) in months and I hadn't had any meat in weeks because Ethiopians fast for two months prior to the holiday. But mostly I think I was excited because I knew this was my last major holiday in Ethiopia (that made me sad) and I really wanted to take it all in and be a part of it. So that's what I did.

You know a holiday's coming when chickens and sheep start showing up on your compound. Over a week before Fasika, my landlady had bought three of the biggest chickens I've ever seen in Ethiopia and a pretty decent sized sheep. My landlady kept calling the chickens "ferenje doro" or "foreigner chickens" because of their size. I guess she was calling us foreigners fat. I don’t know but I thought it was funny. So for a week we were woken up super early by the chickens. I was more than ready for their inevitable death at the end of the week.

A couple days prior to Fasika Ethiopians start making the beverages for the holiday. Keneto, a non-alcoholic drink for the children is made with barley. They also make tela, home-made wine. Saturday afternoon my landlady was finishing making these. As I walked past the storage room where she was cooking I asked her how it was coming along. She then handed me a full pitcher of tela to take back into my house and drink. It was 1:30pm. The celebrations were already beginning.

That night, the animals were slaughtered. The men kill the animals. It was pretty gruesome so I didn't take any pictures. They killed the sheep and then hung it upside down to drain all the blood out. Then they killed the chickens. The chickens were brought to my lady in the outdoor kitchen they have at the end of the compound. There she tore the dead chickens apart, all with her bare hands! It's so much work! I'm always so impressed when I see this done. It was a mess of feathers, organs, blood, but she knew exactly what she was doing. She went through the same process with five chickens! Three were for her family and the other two were for her mother (because her mother is older she does it for her). The stew had been cooked earlier and was sitting there in three huge pots. We were going to have enough doro wat for days. As my landlady cleaned the chickens we sat around her and kept her company, talking and drinking more tela. She didn't go to bed until after midnight.

The next morning Abigail, their daughter, came to wake me up for breakfast. Ethiopians start eating doro wat bright and early in the morning. Doro wat has tons of onions (we're talking several kilos) and is full of berbere (hot spice) so it can be a lot to take in that early, but I think I'm used to it by now. I love it. So I went to my landlady's home and we all ate chicken and drank tela, again! She also had prepared tibs (chopped up sheep meat) that morning and I got to eat that. After the meal my landlord pulled out the gin and poured us all a shot. And then another. It was 9:30am! I was so full and exhausted when I got back to my house and had to take a little nap. Because at noon I was invited to my neighbor's home for round 2. It was the same routine there. More doro wat and tela. I was so full and could only eat a little bit. At 3pm I was invited to one of my teacher's homes for another meal. That last one was rough. I didn't think I could eat another bite. If you don't eat it's considered rude so I tried and did my best, but that night I was not feeling well. When your body isn't used to eating meat, it's quite a lot of meat to take in all in one day. It was all worth it though. My last holiday in Ethiopia was wonderful. It's unbelievable to me that this was the last one. I remember my first one in Ethiopia. I celebrated Ethiopian New Year, September 11th, with my host family back during pre-service training. That feels like a different time. I remember feeling lost and so unsure back then. I'm so much more comfortable now. I feel at home. I definitely felt at home for Fasika this time around. I've come a long way and being able to see that progress is pretty great. When you first arrive here you have no idea if you'll make it and how it will all turn out. I'm so grateful that I've come this far and I've become comfortable here. I've made Ethiopia my home.

Malaria Awareness

If you remember from last year around this time I had written a blog post about malaria. April 25th is World Malaria Month so Peace Corps has turned April into Malaria month. I thought I'd use this post to refresh your minds and share more about the disease.

Malaria continues to be a crisis throughout much of Africa. Every 45 seconds a child dies from the disease. What's worse, malaria is completely preventable and curable if people would sleep under mosquito nets. If you do contract malaria you can go to a health center or hospital and it can be easily treated. Because malaria feels like the flu, many do not know they have malaria or they wait to long before going to visit a doctor. Malaria has been eradicated throughout many regions outside this continent with the use of insecticides, medicines, and mosquito nets. This disease is transmitted only by a special kind of mosquito- called the Anopheles mosquito- which primarily bites at night.

Compared to the rest of Africa, the percentage of people who get malaria in Ethiopia is low. Still, malaria can be found in 75% of Ethiopia. Now we're trying to completely eliminate the disease from the country. Hopefully this becomes a reality sooner than later. Much of Ethiopia has a high elevation making malaria non existent in those areas. Mosquitos can't get above a certain altitude. In the last few years however, as a consequence of global warming, cases of malaria have been reported at higher elevations than normal. Living in the South malaria is a bigger concern because the elevation is lower here. Addis Ababa for example, the third highest city in the world, lies at 2,400 meters, whereas Hawassa, the capital city of the South and an area that I frequent often has an altitude of 1,685 meters. It may not seem like quite a difference, but when I first arrived in Ethiopia I definitely felt the change in altitude and it took a few days for the altitude sickness to go away. There's no malaria in Addis while in Hawassa it is quite prevalent. Because I often go to Hawassa I do my best to remember to take my malaria pills. I always sleep under the mosquito nets the hotels provide and I always spray insect repellant on. The government is working to make malaria a disease of the past. Health clinics throughout the country pass out mosquito nets to communities in rural areas. Without the proper training, though, and the lack of information, many people don't know how to use the nets and use them for other purposes that won't help them against malaria. One use I've seen is using the netting as a chicken coop.

What are Peace Corps Volunteers doing? One of the goals for health volunteers is to work on malaria awareness. These volunteers work closely with the health centers in their communities. There is also an Africa-wide initiative known as STOMP. In Ethiopia, we have regional coordinators that work closely with STOMP to spread the latest news about malaria throughout their region and keep their volunteers updated on the latest malaria activities they can do in their communities.

This month I used my English clubs to spread awareness about malaria. Even though there have been very few cases of malaria in Butajira, it is still possible to get it. I want my students to know what causes malaria, what they can do to prevent it, and what they should do if they start to get symptoms. Hopefully, by giving people information about the deadly consequences of not using a mosquito net and other prevention methods, malaria can be eradicated in Ethiopia and the rest of Africa. 

Our New Life Skills Club

On Saturday morning, the girls that I took to the AGE Summit and I started a life skills club at our school. The girls learned so much at the summit and are now ready to share their knowledge with their fellow students. We also received GAD (Gender and Development) manuals at the summit so we are using this as a guide for our club. I met with Itsubdink and Habtamnesh (my two participants from the summit) this week to discuss the logistics for our club. Since they know their classmates best, they chose the students to invite to our club. We decided it would be best to have both boys and girls participate and to meet in my classroom. The purpose of our club is to give the students the skills they need to become successful. That means we are going to be teaching them about leadership, personal health, and making good decisions, all while promoting English language and gender equality.

For our first session we did an activity called "Life Tree." This is a personal growth activity that aims to introduce participants to the importance of goal setting in their lives and the significance of personal values in achieving goals. By creating specific life goals participants will be motivated to take the steps towards a successful and rewarding life (GAD Manual). We first had the students imagine their lives in 10 years. We asked them what they saw? What were they doing? Where they were? Who they were with? Next, all the students were handed colored sheets of paper where they drew their own tree. The roots represented their foundation and the skills they have now. In the tree and the leaves they had to write their future goals. On the left side the students were to draw clouds to represent tangible resources they would need to accomplish their goals while on the right side they were to draw a lightning bolt signifying any potential threats they might encounter in reaching their goals. I love doing introspective activities like this and really enjoyed watching the kids tap into their creative sides. Students aren't often given the opportunity to express themselves and their ideas. It was nice doing an activity where they focused only on themselves and where they want their life to go.

I'm most proud of Itsubdink and Habtamnesh. It was wonderful watching them really take charge of this lesson. They were translating everything that I was saying and during the activity they walked around and helped all of the students. It's amazing to see them sharing the knowledge and skills they learned at the summit by leading these lessons. Our first session was a great success. I can't wait to see what next week brings!

AGE Summit

My girls Itsubdink (left) and Habtamnesh (right)

Last week I attended the second annual AGE (Action for Gender Equality) Summit in Addis Ababa, a 4 day event for volunteers and their students centered around the Women's First 5 km run in Addis and put on by Peace Corps Ethiopia's GAD (Gender and Development) Committee. Peace Corps Volunteers who had completed the most gender activities in their communities were chosen to participate in the summit and choose two students from their sites to bring along. This event brought students together from SNNPR (my region, the South), Oromia, Amhara and Tigray. Students never get the opportunity to interact with students from other regions so that was another terrific aspect of the summit. I chose two 14 year old girls from my gender club who I thought would benefit the most from the event. I wasn't sure how the girls' parents would feel about me taking their daughters away to Addis for a few days, but after sitting down with them they agreed that this was a great opportunity for the girls. Even though I only brought female students, some participants brought males at the request of GAD. When talking about gender inequality it's important to understand that men need to be a part of the conversation and movement towards equality as well. Men play an important role by influencing other men and their female counterparts. Gender equality will never be achieved without both sexes working together.

Ambassador Haslach speaking to the students

The event was held at the Red Cross Center, a training center with plenty of space for outdoor activities, indoor sessions, and the dorm rooms on the compound. On Friday morning we had a visit from the American ambassador to Ethiopia, Patricia M. Haslach. In her speech she discussed the importance of following your dreams and making them happen. She also spoke about the mentors in her life that have helped her achieve all that she has. In a field dominated by men, she explained that confidence can take you far. Not everyone will be pleased to see a woman in such a high leadership position, but that shouldn't stop you. You must know that you are equal to your male colleagues. Obviously her speech didn't just influence the students, but reached me as well.

The two days prior to the race (the race was held on Sunday morning) were filled with sessions about gender equality and empowerment. After the ambassador's visit on Friday, the kids did an activity called "Walk a Kilometer in Her Shoes." This is a relay race where boys have to perform some of the basic chores girls do every day. The boys put on women's shoes and wrapped a ball around their backs with a scarf to represent their "baby." They then had to chop vegetables, fill a bucket of water, carry it across the compound and wash clothes. Throughout the race the girls had to tell them if they were doing something wrong and were cheering them on. The goal of this activity was for the boys to realize how much work their mothers and sisters do. It showed them how difficult it is for girls to study and do their homework when they have so much work to finish at home first. Later, the kids did an activity called "Gender Stadium" where both the females and males talked about their gender roles and how having those roles makes them feel. Other sessions focused on respecting one another's viewpoints, gender based violence, and leadership/mentorship.

A woman from CCL (Center for Creative Leadership) spoke to the participants about mentorship and six successful Ethiopians were invited to do a career panel. The students also got a tour of Addis Ababa University, the most prestigious university in Ethiopia. The tour was followed by another panel with professors and students from the university. The students had lots of questions for all of the guests. Sunday evening we had a keynote speaker, UN HIV/AIDS Ambassador and 2003 Miss World Competitor, Hayat Amhed. She is an incredible role model for these kids and it was a treat having her come to the summit to talk about her life.

Race day was Sunday morning. We all woke before the sun came up and took a bus to the race. We joined a group of over 10,000 women! This was such an incredible experience. All sorts of women were participating, both young and old, big and small, Ethiopian and foreign. It didn't matter what you looked like, everyone was happy and cheering each other on. The energy was amazing. Women were the only ones allowed to participate so the boys stood on the sidelines with posters cheering us on and showing their support. Being a part of this event was one of the best moments I've had in Ethiopia. It was a truly empowering experience. What was even better was seeing our students thriving in this environment. I can't begin to imagine what was going through their minds. None of these girls had ever been to such a huge event. Before the race started we got a performance from the girl group Yegna. Ethiopian Olympic gold medalists Meseret Defar and Haile Gebreselassie blew the horn to start the race. The girls were SO happy. I saw them completely let go and just be free. Us volunteers never see girls this happy and excited in our communities. Most of the time they are quiet and not at all outgoing. At site they fit perfectly into their gender role so to see them at this race, dancing together, laughing as loud as they could and running around was incredible. This is something I will remember forever.

Itsubdink explaining her group's activity to the rest of the participants

That afternoon back at the Red Cross Center we had sessions about sexual harassment and sexual health. Each of us volunteers also got with the students we brought to create an action plan about how to bring the lessons learned throughout the summit back to our communities. We finished the day with a talent show. Before heading off to bed a lot of students had tears as they said their goodbyes.

I had an amazing 4 days and I can't wait to do more gender work with my girls and have them be leaders of our school back in Butajira. I am so proud of them. In just a few days I saw these girls come out of their shells, speak up, and gain so much confidence. I can't wait to see what we do together with the handful of months I have left. 

Extremely proud to have these two as my students

I know I have written about these facts in a previous post, but I thought it would be a good reminder of why the GAD committee and the gender work volunteers are doing

are so important to the development of this country.

These facts come from the World Economic Forum 2013, DHS 2005, Oxfam Ethiopia Country Profile 2013, and UNICEF 2012.

•        Ethiopia ranked 118th out of 136 countries on the 2013 Global Gender Gap Index.

•        Only 18% of Ethiopian women are literate, compared to 42% of men.

•        In Ethiopia, 71% of women have suffered from physical and/or sexual violence in their

             lifetime

•        81% of women agree that wife beating is acceptable for at least one reason.

•        17% of Ethiopian women report that their first instance of sexual intercourse was forced.

•        Only 14% of women are employed outside their family.

•        Women hold only 18.7% of land.

•        The 2011 EDHS found that 12% of women aged 15 – 19 are pregnant or mothers.

•        Fertility rate is 4.8.

•        The maternal mortality rate is 470 (out of 100,000 births).

•        Only 24% of students enrolled in university are female.

•        Ethiopia currently ranks 174th out of 187 countries on the Human Development Index.

            Average incomes are less than half the average for sub-Saharan Africa.

•        8% of women were abducted and forced into marriage.

•        Ethiopia is ranked 76 out of 79 countries on IFPRI’s Global Hunger Index.

•        Only 3.2% of the Ethiopian population is over the age of 65.

•        Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) prevalence by Region

•        Amhara – 68%

•        Oromyia – 87%

•        Tigray – 29%

•        SNNPR – 71%

The Emotional roller coaster that was 2014

Here's the first blog of the year. Enjoy!

It's been some time since I last wrote. That's because one of my close friends from college came to visit for three weeks. It was great showing her around Butajira and the daily happenings of my life. During her visit we traveled to Hawassa, Shashamene, and spent a really fun weekend in Addis. It was also wonderful having her here for Christmas. With the limited ingredients we had, the both of us were able to come up with a pretty delicious meal. Being away from home during the holidays is always harder so I'm thankful to have had my girl Candace with me and I feel like those three weeks together brought us much closer. There's nothing like washing each other's underwear in a bucket outside and sharing a chamber pot to bring two ladies closer. With a new year upon us I've been reminiscing a lot on 2014. So much has happened and I'm trying to piece it all back together to come up with a coherent idea of what the year's been like for me. Around this same time last year I was in a very different place mentally. I started off 2014 feeling quite uncomfortable and unsure in Ethiopia, even after having been here six months. I still had no idea what I was doing, how to go about doing my work and living here, and to be honest, several things were still scary. I was pretty negative and I hate to admit that my outlook on Ethiopia wasn't great. I can remember only focusing on the bad things that happened to me which caused me to be angry most of the time. Things were not going the way I wanted at work, my communication skills weren't there, and the harassment I received was really getting to me. I stayed in that state of mind for longer than I'd like to admit.

So I moved from being scared and uncomfortable to being angry which in turn became sadness. All of this wasn't great. I can recall last spring when I was counting down the days until my trip to the states and only being focused on that. Not healthy! Going to America was a whirlwind of emotions in itself. After a month in America, where I got to be with my family, see my friends, and eat a ridiculous amount of food, I arrived back in Ethiopia feeling depressed. All I wanted to do was go back. The thought of ending my Peace Corps service early crossed my mind on more than one occasion. Looking back on it now though, I'm so happy I decided to stick to it. When my second year began I knew I hadn't given it my all so I decided to try harder and seriously push myself.

I don't remember exactly when it was, I want to say sometime in August, but my outlook on Ethiopia changed. I made a decision to view Ethiopia in a different light if I was going to take on another year here because I couldn't continue the way I had been for months. I wasn't going to make it to the end with that frame of mind. And if I was, I would have become an extremely angry and resentful person. I had to accept that I was never going to change Ethiopia and that I'm not here to change it. Harassment was probably the hardest thing I dealt with and I came to realize that if America still doesn't have its act together concerning gender equality, how could I ever expect Ethiopia to? I had to stop allowing harassment to make me angry and afraid and ruin my days.  Being angry wasn't solving the problem and the men that I was getting angry at didn't understand where my frustrations came from. Changing the way society views gender takes generations. I'm only here for 2 years. How could I ever think that my being here for that short span of time would make men treat women as their equals? That's crazy! The best I can do is hope that my being here alone is planting seeds in peoples' minds about changing the role of women in Ethiopian society.

Concerning work, I decided to do things that were working and to make more of an effort to work with people who wanted to work with me; To only focus on the work that is going well. I decided to make more of an effort to work with my community and school and really listen to what they wanted me to do instead of what I wanted to do or what I thought the schools needed. Because that doesn't work and it's not sustainable. At the end of the day, my coworkers have been here a lot longer than me, they know their communities better and ultimately I am their volunteer.

The hardest pill for me to swallow has been having to remind myself that I am a guest here. I made the decision to come to Ethiopia on my own. No one asked me to do this and so in that period when I was constantly complaining about this country and I only saw the negative was unfair. It still doesn't make the way I'm treated by certain Ethiopians right, but when it comes to work I try to remind myself of that simple fact. I made the decision to live in Ethiopia for 2 years. Don’t get me wrong though. I constantly find myself in less than thrilling situations, but I try my best not to focus on those incidents so much and to think of the good things that happened to me that day.  Being the center of attention every time you walk out the door and having people yell out at you and gawk at you really builds confidence after a while. I'm no longer scared to walk through town and I brush things off a lot more easily.

Favorite picture of 2014 - Surroundings at Lake Langano

I have to thank all the Ethiopians I've met who have made me feel welcomed and loved. My host family and compound family are always here for me. Conversations with them and encounters with my teachers makes it all worth it. Even though working with the teachers has proven to be quite challenging, they are still very nice and appreciative of what I'm trying to do and I'm comfortable around them. I try to focus on the student that hugged me and kissed me on the cheek after we read together for half an hour or the student that offered me her banana flavored stick of gum as we crossed paths on the dirt road. Simple interactions with a suk owner can turn a bad day around. Just yesterday as I was walking to school I had an elderly Ethiopian man bow his head at me and take off his hat when he walked past as a sign of respect. I try to focus on those moments instead of the ones where people are aggressive towards me.

I want to end this post my expressing that my experience is mine personally. I cannot stress that enough. It's important for people to remember that every Peace Corps volunteer's service is different. We may live in the same country, but our regions, our sites, our work, the people in our community, etc. vary widely. Each one of us has a very different experience and so what may work for me does not necessarily work for someone else. For all the volunteers in my group who ended their service early I think they all ultimately made the best decision for themselves. And who knows, if I had had to go through some of the awful stuff other volunteers experienced I probably wouldn't still be here either. But whenever I thought of going home I knew I would end up regretting it. I hadn't given it my all and until that moment came when I had tried everything and I was still miserable, then I would say it's time to say goodbye. That moment has yet to arrive.

For my own experience, staying patient and going through that difficult first year allowed me to learn, grow and arrive at this current point where I'm happy in my service. I'm sure some will ask if going through those rough months was worth it. For me it absolutely was. I'm not here to change Ethiopia. I'm here to experience this country for all its good and bad and learn from it.