Homesickness

This week has been great work wise, but emotionally it’s been a rough one. I arrived back to site after MSC (mid-service conference) feeling refreshed and motivated to start working. And that’s exactly what I did. I went to my school the following day and was welcomed with open arms by all of the teachers and administrative staff. I met with the vice director of my school and discussed programs I’d like to get started. To my great surprise, he was on board with everything I wanted to start (English clubs for grades 5 and 6, English club for grades 7 and 8, reading program, and girls’ club) and told me the teachers I needed to talk to and the steps I needed to take to make sure my ideas didn’t just stay ideas. I was able to meet with all the teachers and staff I needed within a few days. One of the English teachers accompanied me to every 7th and 8th grade class so I could announce the English club and the reading program. I also went to the education office and had a meeting with one of the staff members about how we should proceed this year with the English teachers. I was a little bit hesitant about this meeting since my teacher trainings last year did not go very well. We came up with an observation program to start the following week. From my observations I will provide trainings for the teachers on where I see the most improvement needs to happen. The education office told me they would discuss this with all of the teachers and make sure they all come to the trainings. So this week, I started doing observations with the English teachers. The vice director and the supervisor did these with me. After we would watch a teacher, the three of us would meet and discuss what we saw and then we invited the teacher and discussed our observations and comments with him/her. Those have been going better than I could have ever imagined. The teachers like getting the feedback and I think they appreciate the way I present my observations to them. The vice director also told me he was learning from doing the observations with me and learning about how to present feedback in a positive manner. It’s great to see these programs working, but I’m even more excited that I have Ethiopians doing these with me. The work I’m doing feels much more meaningful when I’m with Ethiopians that are excited about it as well. And hopefully this can be sustainable and it continues after I leave.

Another success this week was with the girls’ club. I attended a training right after MSC on starting a girls’ club to pilot Girl Hubs (English organization) Yegna Connections curriculum. Our first meeting was this week. It was just an introductory session, but the girls seemed excited. At first they were all quiet and shy, but by the end they all had smiles on their faces. I’m hoping this energy stays throughout the pilot and I’m even more excited to have a group of girls that I can work with.

The point of all this is to show that I’m finally doing some work that I’m proud of. But even though the past two weeks have been great work wise, emotionally I’ve felt terrible. I’m so homesick. And I was even more upset to be feeling like this while everything is going so well at work. I thought something was wrong with me. I was confused about why I was suddenly feeling this way and I’ve been trying to understand why it seems to have come about randomly. I should be happy and energetic and motivated. But the fact is, Peace Corps doesn’t get easier. No matter how long I’ve been here, it’s always difficult. Throughout this entire experience, I’ve never undergone so much loneliness for such a long period of time. You are always alone here. Yes I have my neighbors and I have my friends, but it’s not like the people I have back home. I miss talking to people and having long conversations about issues that matter. Yesterday morning as I was eating my peanut butter and honey sandwich (peanut butter and honey sandwiches are amazing) and drinking my tea, I was suddenly overwhelmed with misery. I was alone. Again. Like every other morning. Eating breakfast all by myself. It sucks. It’s really hard. I’m realizing that it doesn’t matter how much work I’m doing and how great I feel about it, I still miss my family. I miss being able to pick up the phone and call my parents or send one of my siblings a quick text. Simple things that we don’t think about back home, but that mean so much. When I got back to Butajira I felt optimistic and confident about living here another year and I guess I was just hoping that feeling would last until the end of my service. I was wishing that I had passed that first difficult year and from now on, through the next 11 months, everything would be easier. But I've soon found out that those hopes were premature. I am thankful that things are going well for me at work. But that will never fill the hole I have inside for my family and friends. I’m learning that that can never go away, no matter how meaningful and fulfilling my work is. 

It's been busy on this side of the world

When September arrived I was sure it would be a long and boring month since I had nothing planned until the end of the month. I assumed I would be at the house catching up on a lot of reading. It didn’t turn out that way. My cousin asked if she could come see me and when she asked if the following week would work, I didn’t hesitate to say yes! So my month turned out to be pretty busy. I spent the first week of the month getting my house ready and washing a lot of clothes, just preparing for her visit. The following week I headed up to Addis to meet her and from that day on there was a lot going on, all of which I was excited about.

            I hadn’t seen my cousin in over a year and a half and to be able to spend two weeks with her, visiting southern Ethiopia, and catching up on our lives, talking about our past, present, and future was amazing. I am so thankful that she was able to be here with me and I got to show her my life in Ethiopia. Dropping her off at the airport after our adventure in Ethiopia was hard. My cousin and I may have grown up thousands of miles away from one another yet looking at our lives today we are so close. She’s one of my biggest supporters and an important person in my life. We may not see each other a lot, but when we do we get back to exactly how it was when we left each other. So all in all, getting to be with her for a few days was great.  

            Saying goodbye to my cousin and watching her enter the airport (only passengers are allowed to enter. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know) was difficult. I headed back to the hotel feeling really alone. That’s one of the hardest parts of being here, feeling lonely a lot of times. And of course that feeling of being completely empty is the worst right after you’ve spent time with people. So I went back to my hotel feeling empty and alone and just wanting to crawl into my bed and cry, which is exactly what I did. At this point I’ve felt this way so many times that I’ve learned how to deal with it. I knew it would take a couple of days to feel better again. My Peace Corps service has taught me to be in touch with my emotions so when I feel a certain way, I accept it and just feel it. I’m not down on myself when I want to cry, I just cry and then I feel better.

The guest house we stayed in. A traditional Harari home.

            But on to more happy things. After my cousin left I was only in Addis for a day before my trip to Harar with some other volunteers. Harar is about 10 hours east of Addis and is the fourth holiest Islamic city in the world after Mecca, Medina, and Jerusalem. Within this city is the walled city of Jugal. Old Harar has about 90-odd mosques and is said to have one of the largest concentrations of mosques in the world. Everywhere we walked we were met with a different mosque, all of them beautiful. The walled city is also filled with small, cobblestone alleyways that curve into all directions. It’s easy to get lost. Being in Harar didn’t feel like we were in Ethiopia. The city is so different than anywhere else I’ve been to in this country. The guesthouse we stayed in was a traditional Harari home within the wall. It was gorgeous and a great experience to spend a couple of nights there. On our first day we headed straight to the brewery. Harar makes a beer called Hakim Stout. You can see where our priorities are, but hey, we were on vacation. And we tried to visit the brewery, but it was closed, so we just resolved to drinking. After the brewery, we found fabric row and all bought some beautiful fabrics and scarves. We then found camel meat and bought a kilo. A man took us into his family’s home, another traditional Harari house, where his mother cooked the meat for us. It was delicious. That night we also saw hyenas. Harar is famous for hyena feedings which is popular with the tourists. When night fell around 7pm, we went to find the hyena man. After negotiating a price, the hyena man went out of sight and started yelling out, making howling noises for the hyenas to come out. I’m still not sure if it was real or just a show. For all we knew, the hyenas were in a hidden cage and the hyena man was only calling out to them for theatrics. Either way it was pretty cool. The hyenas came out and were right in front of us.

The guest house we stayed in. A traditional Harari home

One of the many mosques in Harar

The square where we bought camel meat

The following day as we were walking around, visiting Harar, a man invited us into a wedding celebration. Of course we accepted the invitation. The women were all dressed in traditional Muslim clothes. They were gorgeous. We also ate traditional Harari food of rice and meat with a delicious lime sauce. Before leaving Harar we absolutely wanted to get henna. We asked around and when we found the woman who did it, she wanted an outrageous amount for it so we left. We were all pretty disappointed and gave up on the idea of henna. As we were walking around the market, I spotted two women on the side of the road doing henna to each other. I approached them and said the designs were beautiful. I then asked them if they could do it on me and they agreed. Sitting on the side of the road on market day definitely brought us a lot of attention. A crowd was gathered around us while all five of us took turns getting tattooed. We chatted and laughed with the women. I felt so relaxed even though there had to be at least twenty people around us. This was by far the highlight of my trip. After the woman from earlier had wanted to charge us a ridiculous amount I had given up on the idea of getting henna and was ready to head back to Addis. But it’s always the unplanned situations that you walk into that are the best and that teach you the most about where you are.   

Henna

            The next day was a full day of travel on a public bus back to Addis. It was awful. It took us 13 hours to get back. I thought we’d never get there. I was so happy when we arrived at the Ghion hotel. The next five days was our group’s (G9) mid-service conference (MSC). These conferences tend to be negative with it being the middle of your service, but I think our group in general surprised the staff. We were all pretty positive. The entire week was full of experience sharing. We discussed what was working at our sites and what wasn’t. We worked together on ideas for next year and gave one another solutions for certain problems and challenges we were having. The conference was a great way to motivate us for our second year. And it was also wonderful to get to see all of G9. We hadn’t been together since our All Volunteer Conference in March.

            That next weekend I participated in a 3-day gender training held by an organization called Girl Hub. Girl Hub and Peace Corps are working on some projects together. This training that I was involved in is to conduct a pilot program at my school. Girl Hub has developed a curriculum to go along with the girl band they created. They would like Peace Corps Volunteers to pilot the program for 6 weeks. Throughout these next weeks, I will be doing this curriculum in a girls’ club made up of 12 adolescent girls and a female counterpart. I will be monitoring the sessions and giving Girl Hub feedback on the program. I’m excited to be a part of the development of this curriculum. I think this will be a great opportunity for me to work with the girls in my community and also a great opportunity for my school and students.

            Finally, my last day in Addis involved a mandatory physical with the Peace Corps doctor and a visit to the dentist’s. So that was my September. It was really busy and a lot of fun but now it’s time to get back to work and complete my last year of service. With it being October there are less than 12 months to go until I’m back in the States. I’m ready to make this year my most productive and successful yet. Let’s see what happens.