Since I
swore in at the end of September, I’ve been a volunteer in Butajira for a
little over six months now. After six months though, I’m still unsure of where
I fit in in the workplace. Being a volunteer means I’m not really a part of the
system. I don’t have an actual place in the education system. My position as
teacher trainer was created for myself. This makes it challenging to figure out
where I fit in. Often times I don’t feel included in all the happenings around
my school. I’m never told when there is a meeting, but instead, after the
meeting teachers will come up to me and say, “Tafash? “Where have you been?
Where were you?” No one told me there was a meeting! This can be frustrating
for several reasons.
The
downside to my position as a volunteer is that no one really knows what I’m
doing. They don’t know what to do with me and this means that I have to figure
things out on my own. Without an actual job in the school, I have to navigate
through the system and figure out where to place myself. I find myself getting
irritated when I can’t find anyone to work with me or no one seems motivated to
jump along on projects I want to start. Most of those people, such as the
school directors and vice directors for example, have so much work to do and
are always busy. So I understand how it’s difficult to fit me in. I don’t want
to seem pushy when I’m asking for things or need help with something because they
already have so much on their plate. It’s in those moments that I realize that
I don’t have an actual place in the system. I’m just a position that was added
on last minute because the higher ups agreed to have a volunteer in their town
when the idea was pitched to them. Once I leave, my position as teacher trainer
will disappear. I have no direct tasks (except for the quarterly reports the
Peace Corps has me write). Sometimes I feel like a floater around the school. I
have to find things to do on my own because no one is going to come to me and
ask me to do anything. I have no outlined responsibilities. I have to find the
work and take the initiative to make anything happen. I have to find things to
keep me busy. Everyone around me, the directors, education office, supervisors,
and teachers all have their own work to do. I’m still trying to find my way and
figure out exactly what my job entails.
Being a
volunteer does come with its advantages. Since I’m not really a part of the
educational system as a whole and I’m not on the payroll, I have few
responsibilities. I’m sort of my own boss. I can make my own schedule and
attend whatever I feel like attending. So if I don’t want to go to something
one day, I don’t have to. I’m a volunteer meaning that I have no salary, so I
decide what I want and don’t want to do. If I want to take a Friday off I can
do that and go away for the weekend.
Overall
though, I find that not having any structure is difficult for me. Having to
figure things out on my own and create my own work is challenging and I’m still
trying to find my place. I’ve been told that when you go home after your
service though, the opposite happens. You get used to making your own schedule
and doing things your own way and going home to a strict, fast paced schedule
means having to readjust all over again.
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