My changing views on International Development

It has been way too long since my last blog post, but I have a good excuse. G9 had its In-Service Training (IST) so I was kept busy for a couple of weeks. It was wonderful getting to see everyone after 3 months. We got to share experiences, the good, the bad, the ugly.  

On to my post for today, during our time in Addis, my good friend and fellow PCV Delia met some expats. The following week she was invited to a lunch they were attending and invited me to go along with her. As soon as we arrived at the home, it felt like we had stepped out of Ethiopia and entered America. The house and yard were beautiful. They were having a barbecue for expats. Everyone was dressed so nice, in clothes that I would never dare be seen wearing in Butajira. The food was amazing. I had desert and wine!!! A lot of the people there worked for big organizations, such as the UN, Save the Children, UNICEF, etc. There were Americans, Italians, Germans, Mexicans, Columbians, and others. After a couple hours with them though, both Delia and I got the sense that these people did not step out of Addis very much, let alone their homes and workplaces. One girl stated point blank that she had no desire to visit Ethiopia. These people drive everywhere they go, so they never really step into Ethiopia. One couple lived down the block and drove … yes, drove to the home where the barbecue was at. It looked pretty ridiculous. If they do see anything of Ethiopia, they take their nice cars and stay at expensive resorts, which is far from an accurate depiction of the country. It became clear that mine and Delia’s experience in Ethiopia and the ones of these expats was very different. You could almost say we were living in two different countries. And it got me thinking. The majority of these people work for some high profile organizations. They have positions that really matter.They work in positions where they have the power to make a difference, but they never step out of their little cocoon, so how can they really be helping Ethiopia? They are the ones making big, important decisions, decisions that will probably affect a lot of people, yet they can’t really tell you anything about Ethiopians. Because even if they know Addis, I can tell you that Addis is not Ethiopia. When Delia and I walked out of there I think we were both shocked. That first week of IST I had been feeling a bit low. I was questioning myself and what I was doing. It was one of my lower points in my service thus far, but walking away from that barbecue I remember getting a feeling of happiness. It’s hard sometimes. Well it’s hard a lot. But if I’m going to live here I’d much rather do it at a similar standard than Ethiopians. That lunch was just what I needed to boost my spirits and be happy with what I am doing. (Let me be clear that not all of the expats that I described above were like this. I am only speaking in general terms)

That afternoon that Delia and I spent with the expats led perfectly to a discussion we had in one of our sessions during our second week of IST with a PC staff member. Interesting fact before I continue. I think it is important for people to get rid of any misconceptions they may have about where the US stands when it comes to foreign aid. I think many believe that the US spends too much money to help other countries and should focus more on domestic issues. Well they are wrong. Fact is, the US spends less than 1% on foreign aid!  So if anything the US should be spending more.

Back to our session during IST, the leader of our discussion started off by asking us how we felt about international development. Had our feelings of international development changed in the past 6 months? Had we become more cynical, less cynical? Was it a career we wanted to continue after our service in the Peace Corps was over? Did we think international development was helpful or hurtful in the end?

When I first got to Ethiopia, my feelings on the Peace Corps were pretty neutral. I didn’t know exactly how I felt about it. Over the past 6 months, I’ve come to believe in the Peace Corps mission. The organization has grown on me and I feel that it is one of the best development organizations out there. On the other hand, I have to be honest and say that I’ve grown much more cynical of international development work in general. At least at this point, 6 months into my service, this is where I stand. Having lunch with all those foreigners validated my feelings. I feel that the international community has created an environment in the Global South where all people see when they see foreigners is money. They aren’t wrong for thinking this. Every day I have Ethiopians who ask me for stuff. People here always want me to give, give, give, because that is all they have ever seen foreigners do. Ethiopians are always surprised at how long my stay is here because they are used to only seeing foreigners here a few weeks or a couple months at a time. I don’t want to dismiss all organizations however. I do think some do very good and necessary work. But this discussion got all of us thinking. One volunteer stated that if foreign aid stopped wouldn’t people be forced to take care of themselves and figure out how to help their country on their own? Another volunteer responded to this by saying that if Americans got out of international development, another country would just step in and do it so pulling out is not the answer. Over the years, international development work as made some progress. There is still much work that needs to be fixed within the system, but it is getting better. Also, yes the Peace Corps is a great organization but does that mean that every organization should be doing international development in the same way as Peace Corps? Is it really possible to put all international aid workers on the field, living at this standard? Would that solve any problems? I don’t think that is the answer either. The Peace Corps model is great, but we also need those organizations that give money, the ones that build the schools, the hospitals, etc. Without those buildings we can’t do any work. Overall I can conclude that we can’t just do nothing and pull out of international development. Does international development work need improvement? Absolutely. I’m proud to be in the Peace Corps but I am questioning whether or not I want to continue in this line of work when my service comes to an end. These are my feelings after only 6 months in country. They are not set in stone and will more than likely be changing throughout the next 20 months. 

Survivor

            Tonight I met a foreign volunteer living in Butajira for a couple of months. We got to talking about our organizations and what we were doing here. On hearing about the Peace Corps, what I do and how I live, he said Peace Corps sort of sounded like an episode of survivor. He said he didn’t think it was necessary for us to be living under the conditions PCVs are living in, that we could do our jobs the same with hot water, a toilet, etc. In his opinion, the PC should provide us with these minimum needs. He asked me if I was okay with these terms. My response was that this is what I signed up for and I knew going into it that some of the luxuries I am used to back home I wouldn’t be seeing for another 2 years.

            On listening to this and then thinking it over, I decided that I completely disagree with him. I don’t think I could do my job in the same way if I was living at a much higher standard than the average Ethiopian. PC is more than just going into a developing country, doing your job, finishing that job, and then getting out of there. It is about learning and understanding another culture and its people, about seeing what you have in common with someone who grew up on the other side of the world and what you don’t. How could I truly understand Ethiopia if I was living at a standard similar to what I am used to in America? I would never be able to integrate. When I tell my teachers that I eat injera and cook shiro wot and gomen they are so impressed. They say I am Ethiopian and explain how wonderful it is that I am doing things like them. I’ve had teachers tell me that I’m not like other foreigners they are used to seeing. I take that as a compliment. I would never be able to connect with them if I had plumbing, a toilet, hot water, etc. How would we be able to relate? I would be living under the idea of them versus us. And that’s not how I want to look at Ethiopia, as them verses me. I don’t want them to see me as just a foreigner. I know that is difficult and part of me will always be seen as different to Ethiopians, but I think I’m less of a foreigner to Ethiopians than volunteers working with other organizations. The volunteer I was talking to said that PC should require that all volunteers at least have a shower. I’m living without a shower and doing just fine. A shower is not a basic need. Hot water is not a basic need. Water on the other hand is and as long as you have a bucket, you can take a shower just fine. Trust me. I do it all the time along with millions of other people. The great thing about humans is that we are able to adapt really well. Everything takes time but eventually you learn to live in new situations and those new situations become normal. And honestly, not having hot water or a shower is by far the least of my worries. I’ve learned that I don’t need those things.

            All in all I’m happy to be working for an organization like the Peace Corps. Yea it’s hard sometimes… really, really hard. But I would much rather be part of PC, where human interactions are the number one priority than any other of the hundreds of NGOs who send volunteers, drop them off for a little and have them live under conditions not so different from what they are used to.

A few things I love about my life in Ethiopia

I’ve written about a lot of the hard parts of being in the Peace Corps, so I thought for this post I would write about some of the things I’ve come to love about living in Ethiopia and Ethiopian culture in general.

1.      Shai bunna breaks. When I first got here I didn’t think I could sit through the minimum of 2 tea/coffee breaks a day, but now I love it and look forward to drinking my small cup of delicious shai and eating a biscuit.

2.      Shopkeepers that tell me I can pay next time I see them when I don’t have the money on me.

3.      Doing a shoulder bump when you greet people as a sign of friendship.

4.      My school director who gives me a hug every morning to greet me.

5.      Injera. Seriously, cannot get enough of it. I have to have at least one injera a day to make my stomach happy.

6.      One common Amharic greeting is “seulam naw” meaning “peace” or “do you have peace?” When someone says this you can reply by saying, “allan,” meaning I have [peace]. I absolutely love this greeting.

7.      Randomly seeing my host family in town. This is always a welcome surprise and always brightens my day. I love them.

8.      Sharing some kolo with the teachers at my school

9.      Kids that run up to me to greet me and I greet them back in Amharic without thinking twice about it. I really just love anytime I understand anything in Amharic.

10.  Going to the market with my landlord. We can hardly communicate because she speaks no English and my Amharic is not great, but somehow we find a way to make it work.

11.  Going to the bank and being greeted by the guards who ask me to join them for some bunna. And of course they’ve got their rifles laid out across their laps. No big deal.

12.  Walking across the street every morning to buy fresh bread for breakfast.

13.  Greeting women with 2, 3, or 4 kisses on the cheek. It reminds me of France.

14.  The little boy and girl on my street that run after me to fist pump when I walk past their home and get so much joy out of it every time.

15.  Looking up at the stars at night. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the night sky so beautiful.

16.  Watching the sun rise on the mountains on my morning run.

17.  Getting invited to share a meal with people I just met and eating together off one big plate of injera and various wots.

18.  Buying my vegetables from Bereket’s shop off my street. He has wooden stools in front of the produce so it’s also a hang out spot.

This is just a short list that I’m sure will get much, much longer as time goes on. 

Only in Ethiopia

            I found myself in the strangest situation yesterday. Let me set this up for you. There is a foreign family that lives on my street and whenever they go out of town they ask me to stop by their house to check up on their dog (Most Ethiopians are afraid of dogs so this is why I do it and also, I really like this dog so I enjoy doing it). These same friends of mine have a chicken coop in their compound with 3 chickens and 1 rooster. I have never had issues with any of these animals… well that is until yesterday.

            As soon as I entered the compound I could tell something was up. The dog wasn’t in its normal spot, but instead was by the corner of the house ready to pounce. As I looked around I saw that the rooster was no longer in the coop, but instead had found a way to get on top of it. Then, I realized there was only 1 chicken in the coop. After more inspection I found random feathers all around the compound. I looked at the dog and just imagined the worse. At this point I started looking around for pieces of the missing chickens I assumed had been massacred by the dog. I kept picturing chicken parts scattered around the house and began to panic a little. To my surprise and relief, I finally found the chickens behind the house. I’m sure they were beyond scared of the dog.

 At first I thought, well if the dog hasn’t slaughtered any of them yet, what are the chances that it will now? On second thought though, I’d look like a pretty bad dog sitter if I had knowingly left the chickens and the rooster out with the dog. My neighbors wouldn’t be back for a couple more days so who knew what could happen in that time frame and what the dog would do overnight?

            So I preceded to get both the chickens and the rooster who would not stop screaming back into the coop. I have never in my life dealt with chickens except when enjoying a good meal of course. I don’t do live chickens, but in that moment I knew I had to find a way to get a hold of them. I tried grabbing one but that scared me so I got hold of a nice long stick instead to lead them into the coop. I looked like such an idiot running around after some chickens with a stick in my hand trying to get it back in the cage. After several minutes the dog finally figured out what I was doing and helped me. Poor chickens! They were traumatized. They had no idea what was going. After getting the chickens in the coop it was time for the rooster. Boy was that a challenge. Remember, the rooster was on top of the coop. I had no idea how to get it down. I decided to scare it by hitting my stick against the tin roof. When I thought it would never get down it finally did, and then started running hysterically around the compound with both me and dog following it. At this point I had to stop and take in the moment. I couldn’t help but start laughing. I felt pretty dumb running after a really loud rooster, alongside a dog with a stick in my hand. It was all too comical. Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, the rooster got up into the coffee tree. How? I have no idea but it did so once again I had to think of a way to get it down. I tried grabbing it but that didn’t work. So then I just started shaking the tree to get it down. I do feel really bad for that rooster because at the bottom of the tree was the dog waiting for it.

            I’m happy to say that after a good 30 minutes, the dog and I succeeded in getting all the chickens and the rooster back inside their home. I don’t know if they’ll be laying any eggs anytime soon for having been traumatized, but I can say they are all safe and sound. Only in Ethiopia would I find myself running around after some chickens and a rooster.     

The dog running after the rooster

The rooster somehow got up into the coffee tree

I've come a long way

            December 3^rd marks the start of G9’s 6^th month in Ethiopia. I feel like so much has happened yet at the same time I don’t know where the time has gone. I was able to see some PCV friends a couple days ago. We got to talking about how far we’ve come since we first stepped off the plane and walked on Ethiopian ground. Explaining my experience as an emotional rollercoaster is an understatement. Instead, I would describe it as a 10 hour Ethiopian minibus ride (meaning it’s packed with at least 6 more people than it can hold) on an unpaved road, on top of a rollercoaster. Nevertheless, with all that’s happened all of us could agree that we feel much better today than when we first arrived. It now feels like we’re actually living in Ethiopia. I feel so much better today than I did when I first moved into my house. I feel comfortable with my 2 rooms. I’ve made it my own and it feels like home. I have everything I need. It may not be much but I’ve adapted to living without plumbing, for instance, and not having it doesn’t bother me anymore. Now I don’t think twice about using the shint bet either and I’ve finally got a process down for taking a bucket bath that makes showering more feasible. Still not the best, but I’m not complaining. I’ve learned to live without many of the pleasures back home and I’m okay.

I’m also no longer scared to walk in the middle of town on my own. I still have some days when I’d rather not deal with all the shouting when I walk down the street, but I have fewer of them. I buy my supplies with no problems now. I feel comfortable walking around to the different shops asking if they have any flower, or going to the butcher shop on the street to buy some meat. Successfully buying meat on my own last week for my Thanksgiving meal with the girls was a proud moment for me. It may not seem like a lot, but it’s showing me that I am capable of doing this. I had always imagined the worse when I walked out of compound and nothing ever happened. My fears about Ethiopia are going away.

My first night in my house I cried myself to sleep and thought there was no way I could do this for another 2 years. I was so scared. I still have moments where I have doubts, but they don’t come as often and now I love my home. I’m learning how to deal with my many emotions, like when I start to get sad or bored, I know to get out of my house and go see my neighbors or pay my host family a visit. Seeing them always cheers me up. When I get frustrated at a teacher at my school, I know to go home to calm myself down. If I have any advice for future volunteers it’s to be patient. You have to wait it out. It does get better as these 5 months have proven. I didn’t think it would, but it does. My friends and I have realized that we have started a life here and it feels really good to finally be able to say that because there in the beginning I wasn’t so sure. Ethiopia feels more like home every day.   

Working with others

Working with other people can be difficult. Working with people that are from a completely different culture than my own is proving to be even more challenging. I never liked group work in school and I’m not enjoying it now, but seeing as how I have a real job and I’d like to keep it, I don’t have much of a choice so I’m learning. I’m finally getting into a comfortable routine at my school and thinking of projects for the upcoming semester. I go to my school in the morning for about 3 hours. At lunch I walk home and then go back in the afternoon for a few more hours. I have my model classroom/office and with the director getting it painted last week I have started putting teaching materials on the wall with the purpose of showing teachers how they can use classrooms to their advantage when teaching.

Just when I thought I was getting the hang of things however, problems arose. Twice this week I found myself having to take a step back, take a deep breath and relax. On two separate occasions involving different projects I met with teachers and found that we had completely opposing ideas. The education system in Ethiopia is completely different than in America. I’m not saying that the education system in America is the best. I know we have many issues that need to be worked on. But education here, the way teachers go about teaching and the way they approach their students is very new to me. I have to remind myself that things that seem very normal to me are often not the norm here. And of course this goes the other way around. Many common practices in Ethiopia are completely foreign to me. Trying to explain my point of view is difficult because the education culture that I know and understand and the Ethiopian education culture are completely different. Explaining my thoughts to my teachers is even more difficult because of the language barrier. When I’m explaining something and I can tell that my fellow teachers do not understand I get frustrated and that’s when I have to tell myself to breathe and take a step back. Half the time I know my teachers and the administrative staff have no idea what I’m saying and what’s worse, instead of telling me they don’t understand I’ve found that at times they just don’t listen and pretend that they are by nodding their heads.

I have to find different approaches in reaching out to my teachers when I want to introduce new ideas and show them a different way to do things, because I am still new here. And not only am I new, but I am also a foreigner making me even more of an outsider. I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot so I can’t just tell them directly that I think they need to change something or tell them why something they have been doing for a long time is not working because that’s just going to make working with them in the future even more difficult. So I’m learning to be creative and patient when I talk to colleagues. At times it gets hard, as this last week has proven. 

Some shocking stats

            Part of my work for my CENA (Community and Education Needs Analysis) involves getting some statistics on the schools in Butajria. After 3 weeks of trying to figure out where I’d have to go for the stats (because it’s not as simple as going online and getting them), who I needed to talk to and from whom I would get them, and when I could get them, I finally got the data in my hands this week. (This job is definitely teaching me and forcing me to be patient). It may not seem like a lot, but I felt some sense of accomplishment for getting part of my CENA completed and out of the way.

            During our training over the summer we had several discussions on the enrollment of students in schools, the differences in those numbers based on gender, dropout rates, student performance in class, and gender roles in general. So going into my Peace Corps service I was well aware that the dropout rates were pretty high and that many students don’t pass their 10^th grade exams and therefore do not move on to preparatory school (11^th and 12^th grade). The preparatory school in turn prepares students for university, if they pass their 12^th grade exams. Yet knowing all of this, I was not ready for the statistics that I was handed yesterday.

            The statistics I received are for this school year. Looking over those gives us a pretty good idea of what the trend has been like over the last few years. The Butajira area has 16 primary schools. The majority of those are private schools that don’t exceed 400 students. My public school has the largest number of students. For grades 1 through 8, there are 3,911 students. (You understand why I feel overwhelmed now?) In all these primary schools, both private and public, there are almost an equal number of girls and boys enrolled. Things start to change when you get to the high school (9^th and 10^th grade). At the high school level, there are about 600 more boys attending than girls. In the preparatory school (grades 11^th and 12^th), there are only 367 females to 784 males. Even the number of boys has dropped significantly moving from the high school to the preparatory school. Not only is that shocking, but the fact that primary schools start out with about the same number of males and females and once you get to the highest grades, 11^th and 12^th, the difference in males and females is cut in half is alarming.

            I asked one of my English teachers what he thought about this. His response was that many females have a lot of responsibilities, more so the ones who come from the rural areas. Many girls have a lot of housework to do and have to help their families. They do all of the cleaning, washing, and cooking in their homes. This gives them very little time to study and/or attend all of their classes. When the time comes for them to take their 10^th grade exams they don’t pass and cannot move on to the preparatory school. I knew these issues were real problems in Butajira when I became a volunteer, however it did not stop me from being completely surprised when I had the figures in front of my eyes. The government has taken initiative in helping to promote gender equality and empowering females. Many schools around the country have begun programs to help their female students. The task is challenging when you look at how many students are enrolled in schools. The student to teacher ratio in my school is 1:75! I am hoping to get involved in the current programs at my school and also think of new ways to inspire female students.