Another Thanksgiving Away

As I’ve stated many times before, living away from my family is one of the hardest parts about living abroad. It's especially challenging during the holidays. Most volunteers go through episodes of depression during this time. As Thanksgiving was approaching I felt myself trying my best not to see the date getting closer on my calendar, but it was difficult. So when I found out my name had been drawn to have Thanksgiving dinner with a family working at the American Embassy I did not hesitate to accept the invitation. A few weeks prior, Peace Corps had asked Americans working at the embassy if they would like to host Peace Corps Volunteers at their homes for the holiday. Since not all of us would be able to go because there weren’t enough families to host the over 200 volunteers currently present in country, Peace Corps picked names at random. I found out I’d be going to Addis Ababa just a week before the holiday.

I headed to Addis Thursday morning and met my hosts in the city where they picked me up in their private car and drove me to their beautiful home. As soon as I arrived through the gates, it felt like a completely different world. And I welcomed all the luxury. All I thought as I entered their home was, “enjoy this Helena, it’s only going to last a few hours before you have to get back to your mud house and shint bet.” In the most basic sense I can describe their home, it was America. All these things that are normal to Westerners, a home where you wear no shoes because it's so clean, a full kitchen, a living room with couches and huge rugs, a huge dining room table set for 10, a full bar with actual glasses, a hard wood floor staircase, a bedroom with an actual bed and bed frame and a private bathroom … all the stuff that’s normal, isn’t normal for me anymore. So when I walked in with all these things at my feet I was overjoyed and I had to stop myself from screaming and crying tears of happiness. My hosts led me to the spare bedroom where they said I could sleep the night and told me to take my time getting ready. As I was left alone in the room I just sat on the bed and took it all in. And then of course I immediately hopped into the shower. I got dressed, put on my dress, did my hair and put on some makeup. I can’t tell you how good it feels to be able to feel like a woman. I took these simple acts for granted back home. To be able to get ready in a comfortable home was such a gift. After I had finished pampering myself I headed downstairs to see what I could help with. There was an actual turkey sitting on the kitchen table. Yes… a turkey!!! (Embassy workers put in their turkey order a couple months before the holidays). My host then asked me what I wanted to drink. He gave me an entire list of things I could have. I know all this stuff seems silly to people back home, but this is not what I’m used to anymore. Obviously I was beyond happy. We had our drinks and appetizer/snacks as we waited for the other guests. My white wine actually tasted like what good white wine should taste like. I got to have chips and salsa, hummus and pita bread, mixed vegetables with dip that included broccoli, red peppers, and cucumbers!!!!! I had to control myself so I wouldn’t go crazy over all this food. And those were just the snacks. Cabbage, potatoes, and tomatoes start to get old after a few months of the same repetitive meals, so the variety in vegetables was a welcomed change.

Afterwards, the other guests slowly arrived and I got to meet some really interesting people. Of the group of us there, half of us had done Peace Corps so I was able to relate to quite a few of them. It was amazing to be able to have conversations with Americans. We finally got to sit down and have Thanksgiving. The turkey was delicious which was of course accompanied by every other Thanksgiving dish you can think of. All in all, I stuffed my face and ended the night with a stomach ache that was well worth it. I would do it all over again.

Until Peace Corps I had never really sat back to think of what I’m thankful for in my life. So here’s what I’m thankful for this year. I’m thankful for this wonderful embassy family who agreed to host me. They went above and beyond by letting me stay the night in their home and driving me all the way to the bus station the following day, a.k.a. the place I dread most in the entire world. I’m also thankful for this experience and for Peace Corps. This past year and a half has been a huge learning and growing process. I’m often complaining about it as many of you know, but I honestly am happy I made the decision to come to Ethiopia and I have no regrets. Living abroad has also taught me how important my family is to me. I’m so thankful to be able to have an experience that shows me what I truly value most in life. I don’t think everyone gets that opportunity. And most of all, I’m thankful to be an American. Being a white, middle class American comes with many privileges that I never understood before and didn’t realize I had. I’m so much more aware of my gender, my class, my skin color, my nationality and what all of it means. I can’t imagine what my life would be like today if I hadn’t accepted my invitation to serve in Ethiopia.

I had a great Thanksgiving this year. I hope the same goes for everyone and I cannot wait to be home for the next one!   

The Small Things

I had some pretty incredible encounters yesterday. They may not seem like huge things for some, but for me they made everything worth it and in my book they're going down as successes in my service. My morning started off by going to one of my schools to help facilitate the spelling club an English teacher and I started a few weeks ago. Of course this teacher arrived 20 minutes late, but after overlooking that minor detail everything went especially smoothly. All the students were participating and asking questions. From where I was standing it seemed like they were all interested. I loved every minute of it.

After the club was over, I proceeded to walk over to my regular suk(shop) to buy carrots and green beans (he’s the only one who I have found that has these on a regular basis). As I was getting ready to pay him I realized I had left my wallet at home. I told him never mind on the vegetables and I would come back and buy them another time. He looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to leave without them. He told me not to worry about it, that I could just pay him another time. I told him I could come back later that day and he said not to worry. I could come back the following day or the next week, it was no problem at all, “chigir yellem.” That small act of kindness made the rest of my day great. I can’t think of this ever happening in America. You can’t go to a grocery store and walk out with your items without paying and only your word to the manager that you’ll come back with the money. But here, this man who barely knows me trusts me. No questions asked.

Later in the afternoon my girls club met. I could immediately tell that the girls were more comfortable this meeting than last. The change in some of them from just a week ago was unbelievable. A couple of the girls whose voices I had yet to hear were raising their hands, wanting to participate, and sharing their ideas. It was wonderful to see. But that’s not what added the cherry to my day. After the club was over, my counterpart (the teacher working on the club with me) informed me that the day before, one of the girls had expressed her feelings about this club to her. She said she was so happy to be a part of it and that this wasn’t just important for her now, but also for her future. And this was why she wasn’t going to be absent to any of our meetings and make sure all the girls would come. She found all of the girls the day before to remind them to come to the club. I don’t know how to express how I felt on hearing that. As a volunteer you never know if the work you’re doing is making any kind of difference. I have no idea if I’m helping my students or teaching them anything. Hearing my counterpart tell me this made everything that’s been challenging about this experience worth it. If I leave Ethiopia having only helped that one girl, I’ll know I’ll at least have done one thing.

So those three things, the spelling club meeting, the suk owner trusting me to pay him later, and the student in the girls’ club telling my counterpart how happy she was with the club were small encounters, but these are the instances that make this experience worth all the pain. I’ve lived in Ethiopia about 17 months now and it has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I am constantly questioning myself, sometimes asking what I’m doing here, wondering if it’s really doing anything, but those moments yesterday made it all worth it and made me say, “I’m happy to be here.”

Getting some work done with the students

Not much has changed in the past couple of weeks, but here’s a little update on some of the work I've been doing.  I’ve gotten both my student and teacher programs started. Fortunately, I’m a lot busier than I was my first year. It’s been nice having something to do every day. I’ve even had days where I get a little stressed, so going back to work in the states after working here for two years will surely be a challenge and take some getting used to.

My student programs have been going really well. I love my grade 7 and 8 English club. I have some of the same students that I had last year so my 7th graders have become my 8th graders while some new students have joined. For the last four weeks I’ve averaged 20 students per session, a number that I’m pretty proud of. Seeing them come back every week is a good sign. I’m so much more comfortable with the club this year. I feel so much more relaxed and at ease with the students. I always have a lot of fun with them and I always leave our meetings feeling so happy. This is by far my greatest success. I also have an English club for grades 5 and 6. Getting students registered for this one has been difficult. I have much less students than in my other English club, but I have the same three boys showing up every week on time. So even if it’s just them who come I still have a lesson prepared and they seem to really enjoy it.

At one of my other schools I’ve found a really motivated English teacher who has taken initiative to start English language programs. He’s very enthusiastic about teaching. I get the sense that he truly wants to help his students improve. Last week when he spoke to me, he wanted to start a spelling program that would meet once a week on English day (Wednesday). He asked me if I would participate and assist him in running it. This week we had our first meeting. I prepared a short lesson and taught the group. We’re going to try to continue this every week. This will be a great way for me to get more teaching experience. I teach in my English club but that’s a much more relaxed environment. This program feels more academic since I'm teaching them grammar and spelling. What I’m most excited about is having a teacher to work with. With this program I’m not the one doing all the work and having to pour all my energy into it. And I’m also doing something that the school and the teachers want which seems to work best in the end. The idea for this program came straight from them.

Furthermore, I hope it will please everyone to know that the books are getting plenty of use. During break times (recess), all the desks in my classroom are filled. When I’m not doing anything they’ll practice their reading with me. They share books with their friends and read together. I see them pointing and looking at pictures and laughing. So far the books are a hit.

In a previous post I had mentioned a girls’ club I was starting to pilot a program developed by the organization Girl Hub. That club has proven to be a bit more challenging to run. I was having communication issues with the counterparts (female teachers working with me on the pilot). Last week, Girl Hub came to visit our session. It didn’t go as planned but I think the representatives from the organization were able to clear up any misunderstandings we were having. This curriculum is all in Amharic therefore the counterparts are to act as facilitators while I observe and monitor the sessions and then send Girl Hub my feedback. It hasn’t been going that way so hopefully now that Girl Hub came and helped make our roles more clear, things will run smoothly. I’m not giving up on this club yet. Gender programs are so important in Ethiopia so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this will work. I recently read a book on women living under oppression; “Half the Sky” by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryll WuDunn. Each chapter had a story of a girl or woman in the developing world living in difficult situations. Several of the stories focused on females in Ethiopia. It was a reminder to me of the conditions that countless women around me face. While I’m living here I can and need to do something. Reading this book was a reminder that my programs are important and I can’t give up on them.

Coexistence, a breath of fresh air

I recently had an encounter with some Americans who are living in Butajira. The topic of our discussion revolved around religion. Our views were quite different to say the least. But everyone is entitled to their opinions and as far as I’m concerned you can believe in whatever makes you happy. We discussed aspects of Ethiopians and how they worship and disagreed on that point as well. When I got home, our conversation left me contemplating my own beliefs. I won’t discuss my personal ideas, but I will say that I came away from that afternoon with a deeper appreciation for Ethiopia.

Before I go on, I'll add a little bit about my site and the religions practiced here. I want to stress that the situation I am speaking of highlights my site only. Not all towns and regions of Ethiopia are like this. I can only speak for my community. In Butajira half of the population is Muslim while most of the rest are either Protestant or Ethiopian Orthodox. There are both mosques and churches that are often frequented. Rather it is a Muslim holiday or a Christian one, schools and other governmental institutions are closed. These religions all coexistent. I’ve never come across any conflicts between them. Christians and Muslims work together, form friendships with one another, they eat together, and celebrate together. People talk about both God and Allah with no problem. They know about one another's beliefs and can tell you what the other accepts as the truth. There exists a mutual respect. Think about that for a minute … that’s beautiful!

Getting back to the realization I came to after my afternoon with the Americans, after living in a place for a while and becoming comfortable in that new environment, you start not noticing everything around you so much. It has become my way of life. Because I’ve adapted to my site, I’ve become used to the different religions and traditions that coexist amongst one another. To me this has become so normal. Because this is so normal to me, I have forgotten how truly amazing it is to have people with different religious views living together. Therefore after discussing religion with my fellow Americans, I was reminded of that coexistence and once in my house, I thought to myself how incredible that is. It’s a beautiful part of Ethiopia. This is one of the things I love about this country. In a time when countries and cultures continue to misunderstand each other with regards to religion in turn leading to countless conflicts, living in an environment that goes against what much of the rest of the world is struggling with is a breath of fresh air. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to see this and live within such coexistence. To me what makes religion so special here isn’t the fact that people are so deeply religious, but the fact that they can all live together. Ethiopians may not all believe in the same God, however they share a common history and a common culture with traditions that go back hundreds of years. They share a past. They continue to find a way to keep their traditions alive while following different faiths.