I thought I’d be able to write
a blog post as soon as I got back to Ethiopia, but it turns out those first
three days were too depressing for me to sit down, gather my thoughts, and
write about my trip home. I just got back to Ethiopia from having spent a month
in America and I feel like leaving my friends and family was harder this time
then it was when I first left a year ago. Just thinking about it I have tears
in my eyes. I didn’t want the plane to land as we approached Addis. I know this
last year went by fast and no doubt the next one will be just the same, however
so many things happened in just one year. Many great memories, but also some
especially trying moments and experiences. And to think that I have to do it all
over again for another year seems impossible.
About my
month in America. I’m so happy I was able to go back and spend some quality
time with my family and friends. I ate and drank as much as my stomach could
handle which by my last week caused me to lose my appetite. Those hot showers
were amazing. Just being able to do my hair, put on some make up and wear a
dress was incredible. Those things may not seem like a big deal but I miss
feeling like a woman. It felt amazing to see my friends, catch up, and share a
few laughs over some good food and a glass of wine. For all of those who made
the time to come see me it means so much. I love you and miss you so much. And
of course to be with my family again… the people that love you no matter what,
even when I’m not the greatest person to be around or I get in a bad mood and
in my case, the four people that support me in all that I do, the time I was
able to spend with them will be with me throughout this year. I know I’ve said
this before, but the support and love that I receive from my family and my
friends is what keeps me going. I couldn’t do this without all of you. I’ve
learned that my relationships with you are so important to me and I hope they
continue once my service is over.
I did have
some difficult moments during my stay however. Living away from everyone for an
entire year, in a country so very different than my own left me feeling
disconnected. Many of the experiences that I’ve had in Ethiopia are difficult
to translate in America. Many times I felt like I couldn’t relate to the conversations
that people were having. At times I found myself silent at meals because I had
no idea what to say. It’s a very lonely feeling that I know takes time to go
away.
Even so,
leaving America was unbearable. I got a taste of America for a month and then I
had to leave it. I was reminded of the life I had before I left. I got to have
all the freedoms I don’t have here back for a month. As humans we evolve and we
adapt. So after a few months in Ethiopia you begin to get used to the way of
life here and what was once difficult becomes normal. Before I left for my
vacation, I had my routine. But going to America I got to see my life in Ethiopia
and it reminded me of how hard and challenging life in Ethiopia is, at least
for me. And now to have to get back in that routine and get comfortable with
life here again seems too difficult. Last year when I left the States I had no
idea what was in store for me. I didn’t know what to expect. This time I knew
what was waiting for me when I arrived back in Ethiopia so I think this may be
why it was harder to leave. And even though I’ve finished a year in
Ethiopia and understand this country a little bit better than I did before,
it’s still going to be hard.
Now I don’t want to give
people the idea that Ethiopia is a horrible place and my life here is dreadful.
As I was waiting in Chicago for my plane to take off, drinking one last beer of
course, I found myself thinking that I needed to make a list of all the things
I needed to do when I got “home”. No matter how many obstacles I face in this
country, Butajira is my home for now. I have wonderful memories that will stay
with me for the rest of my life. I have met some great people that it will be
difficult to say goodbye to when I get ready to leave. I’ve also made
friendships with fellow volunteers that I know will last a lifetime. I don’t
regret joining the Peace Corps, but it is by far the most difficult thing I
have ever done. I am challenged and pushed every day in ways that I know wouldn’t
be if I was in America. I’m confronted with situations that I would never have
to deal with in America. If there’s anything I’ve learned this past year it’s
how much I love my country. And being away from it for so long in a place so
completely different is challenging. America has its problems. It’s not perfect
and there are many changes that our society needs to make BUT, America is
amazing. There are so many things that Americans don’t realize they have that I
would also take for granted if I hadn’t had the experience of living in
Ethiopia. I understand how lucky I am to have grown up in such a place and I
now have a much greater appreciation for where I am from.
